Of Sanity and Stalkers
by mic1211
Summary: [cowritten with Desidera] The aftereffects of coffee? Some experiment gone wrong? Workinduced hallucinations? No, it's far worse … What indeed can cause Seto Kaiba to lose his sanity? [minor SetoYami]


This is an insane fic written by me and desidera for Easter. Because of some delays, like exams, we didn't get to posting it before now. Beware of craziness and Seto torture!

Authoresses: mic1211 and Desidera  
Title: Of Sanity and Stalkers  
Pairing: Seto/Yami  
(side pairings: the white and brown one/the other brown one, the black one/the white one – don't get confused)  
Rating: PG13 (though I can't guarantee for the side pairings)  
Genre: Humour  
Warnings: Complete craziness, Seto torture, very mild self insertion at the end  
Status: (1/1)  
Disclaimer: We don't own Yugioh or any of the Yugioh characters. But we own the others hehe.. Our little friends….  
Summary: The after-effects of coffee? Some experiment gone wrong?Work-induced hallucinations? No, it's far worse … What indeed can cause Seto Kaiba to lose his sanity?

* * *

It was no more than a flash of white behind a tree. Seto Kaiba didn't even bother to look back as his limo passed the avenue on the way to the Kaiba Corp building. After all he saw patches of white regularly. He supposed it was because of the computer screen he was staring at all day, the lights reflected in his eyes, the whiteness of an empty file, the pale face of one of his scared employees….those things stayed with him after work, somewhere in the back of his subconscious.

They didn't usually bother him every two minutes, though. Seto frowned softly, trying not to look back to where he had last seen that annoying little white patch. He hadn't even been working particularly hard today, it was only morning still, he had just done some research, talked to the head of his stock market observation department, had decided to make contracts with three relatively small chains of game shops in Europe, had finished a presentation for today's conference and in the middle of it all he had had a cup of coffee. That was an easy start, and he wasn't even tired because he had slept well tonight.

While he pondered this the Kaiba Corp building rose in front of them on the horizon, the morning sun turning the windows to gold and momentarily blinding him with their reflection. Then they drove into the shadow of the skyscrapers, continuing on the street towards Seto's working place. A sense of pride filled Seto as he looked up at what was his own.

Cars were racing past them, Seto watching them without interest. It was a drive of no more than five minutes now to the main building, and another ten minutes until he was in his office. Which, all in all, gave him ten more minutes inside to receive today's schedule from his secretary, get another cup of coffee, check his mails and prepare to walk to the conference room. Still looking out of the window he went over the presentation again.

Suddenly he did a double take. Since when did streetlamps have black fur on top of them?

When he tried to have a third look the car was already past the offending lamp and pulled into the master garage of the corporation building.

"Good morning, Mr Kaiba"  
"Hn."

Seto shook his head. It were only the ass kissers or the permanently employed workers who dared to offer a greeting phrase as he stepped into the lobby, striding towards the elevator. Here and there he casually inserted an ID card into a small slit, put his hands on hidden knobs in the walls to further confirm his identity. It was all one fluid movement, trained for years after years.

The elevator doors slid open and everyone in the lobby risked a more or less curious look at him. He faced them, hands crossed, glaring them all down while he waited for the doors to close again.

Suddenly his eyes widened. There was a brown and jumpy something hiding behind one of the huge flowerpots. He pressed a button on his trench coat, giving an extra call to the head of the cleaning service, telling him to have a look for any small animal that might have found its way into the corporation building. The man promised to do his best and Seto cut off the connection, leaning against the elevator wall.  
He rested his head against the cold metal, trying to get his thoughts back to the presentation at hand. With a small jolt the elevator came to a stop and he stepped out, missing a small ochre coloured creature slipping out behind him.

"..and after the end of the conference and a small meal you have to attend with the other businessmen you are supposed to answer some very important phone calls concerning the market in Europe. At 16.35 Mr Riley will arrive and tell you about his technology improvement suggestions, this will take about an hour. Meanwhile his ideas will run through the system, being checked by your top technology experts to be discussed at 18.00 with open ending around 19.00. This is your schedule for today."

Seto Kaiba nodded, making mental notes of dates, times and things he had to think about.  
"Alright, thank you", he told his secretary, never wasting a look at her. The young woman was used to it and didn't expect anything of that sort, so she didn't look up and missed something small hopping past her desk and following Seto to his office.

One of the employees brought in a cup of black, sugarless coffee, and the computer had already been started for him, was just booting up. He inserted a password and sipped on his cup while he clicked here and there, opening three pages all at once. There were only three new mails he had to answer. When his coffee was finished the answers were sent and Seto stood up, dressing in his purple trench coat, throwing the other onto the small couch in the corner of his office.

There was a small squeak when the fabric landed on the piece of furniture. Seto half turned around and looked for the source of the sound, but then a beeping noise announced that the conference was about to begin and he quickly left the room, missing a fur-coated snuffling nose sticking out from under his garments.

When Seto Kaiba entered the conference room all at once it was quiet. Unintimidated, he took the leading chair, crossed his arms and legs and opened the laptop, waiting there for him. After he had typed in something he raised his eyes and glared at everyone before giving a contrarily very polite nod of his head, which was his traditional way of starting a conference.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen", he began in his perfect business manner. "Today I will present my plans for the new version of the Duel Monsters Computer Game, which will have an improved graphic design as well as a new sound technology, which is similar to the type KC13, the one I introduced last year. Today Mr Riley, current head of the technology development team stationed in America, will show me his suggestions of what I could further include into the game and since I expect qualified work from you all at going through his files while I talk to him about the basic aspects, I will explain my technology to you now. This is a prototype."

He got up. Taking out a CD-ROM and putting it into the drive he started explaining the system ensuring that everyone's attention was on him by letting his glare wander around the room. All the faces were set in concentration, eyes trained on the large white screen behind him. He never turned his back on them, something he had gotten used to over the years when he had not been able to trust anyone.  
Suddenly he saw something sitting on the other end of the long conference table that at first sight looked like a pile of clothes. He almost started to reproach one of the other businessmen for leaving their suit on the table like this when suddenly a long brown rabbit's ear stuck out of the pile. A….what?

Seto continued to speak but closed his eyes for a moment, convinced when he opened them again the ear would be gone leaving an ordinary pile of messy clothing. However, when he faced the other end of the table again, there were already two brown rabbit's ears.

And then the whole thing moved. Seto Kaiba's mouth fell open and he took a step back, interrupting his speech. Ten pairs of eyes filled with curiosity and a bit of concern looked at him, wondering what was going on. Seto balled his hand into a fist. He couldn't lose it in front of all of them.

He glared at the other men and women, daring them to say something concerning his state, before picking up where he had left off in the presentation, switching images very quickly, and avoided looking at the end of the table.  
Yet the thought of the two rabbit ears made him nervous and when thefirst part of the presentation was finished he announced a break of five minutes for other employees to come and offer new drinks. He himself sat down in his chair again and took a large gulp from his glass of water. Then he risked a glance at the table. The brown thing was gone.

Seto sighed. Perhaps his boyfriend was right, the coffee had unpleasant effects on him. But he wasn't a morning person either so he would just have to deal with the consequences. And if that had to be rabbit ears, so be it. As long as they weren't on his head, it wasn't that much of a problem.

The conference continued and those employees who had smoked a quick cigarette outside gathered round the table again. But as soon as Seto was on his feet again, facing the table, the brown pile plus the ears reappeared. And this time he could see the whole head. He swallowed.

Imagination or not, he wasn't used to rabbits in his office, least of all when they started hopping around on his conference tables, as this one was currently doing, sniffing on the edges and clumsily moving its legs over the neatly polished surface. He was tempted to tell someone to take it away, although it was obvious it was only a figment of his imagination, a caffeine-induced phantom.

Instead he gritted his teeth and continued the presentation, always waiting for someone of his staff to jump up and scream at the sight of the rabbit. No one else seemed to notice it though, so Seto tried to will it away, pinching his hand, pinching the bridge of his nose, repeatedly closing and opening his eyes, taking another sip of water. It was no use, the animal stayed where it was, always getting more lively, curiously peeking over the edges.

When Seto stared the third and last part of the presentation, the rabbit finally jumped down and landed on the floor with a loud thud that made Seto wince but went unseen by all of the others. Desperately, the CEO tried to follow its path with his eyes, watching as it jumped up into one of his potted plants, sitting down there and facing him.

A minute later it left the pot and Seto swore he noticed a smirk on its face, as well as a left behind heap of excrements. Sweat was forming on his brow as he went on, "….whereas the KC13software focussed on the production of electronically created sounds. This time I want the sounds to be true to life, I want my customers to feel as if they were part of the game and therefore – hey!"

The surprised employees turned their heads to find out what he had been shouting at and Seto Kaiba bit his lip to keep from screaming and running towards the small table with his documents, which the rabbit was just happily gnawing and munching.

Fortunately the presentation was almost over and Seto quickly finished his sentence, ignoring the incident.

"And therefore I want the best available sound technology to be found, be it mine or that of Mr Riley or a combination of both, which is what you will figure out for me this afternoon. Now the conference is closed, you are invited to a meal at the corporation restaurant."

As his top workers stood up and left the room one by one, Seto closed his laptop and hastened over to his documents with quick strides. The rabbit had of course already left, but when he inspected the sheets of paper, he noticed that all the edges were gnawed off and traces of tiny nails could be found all over it.

Seto passed his hand over his eyes, wondering if he should just go to sleep for one or two hours or rather get a doctor as soon as possible.

He sighed as he sat down in his office chair and closed his eyes. Where were these hallucinations coming from. He hadn't had those since the time he first started as CEO of Kaiba Corp. and he worked for days straight to destroy all the militairy technology the company made. It made no sence. His life was going better then it had been in ages, why would he start seeing things now?

He shook his head. He had to get himself together. It wouldn't do if he lost in during the phonecalls about the market in Europe.

As if on cue the phone rang.

Taking one last deep breath he picked up the phone, he had business to take care of.

"I told you I wanted the products spread out to eastern Europe byseptember and we will have them out then. I you can't handle that I'll find someone who can."

Disinterestly he listened as the man on the other line started groveling. Why couldn't he ever find any decent employees. Suddenly he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, he was being watched. Slowly he turned his chair to the side. Sitting by the window was a large white rabbit with browns spots and long ears. He gritted his teeth, one was bad enough but two? He glared at it, hoping the bunny would disappear if he just looked at it long enough. His concentration was broken though by the man still blabbing on he other line.

"I don't care what you do," he snarled, the prensence of theserabbits wasn't helping his mood any. "Just get the job done."

He slammed the phone back on the receiver and turned to continueglaring at the rabbit. The sight that met his eyes made his eyebrow twitch. Next to the long eared rabbit was the one from the meeting.

How did these animals get inside in the first place. The door to hisoffice was locked when he came in and he closed the door after he went in. There was no way they could have both been here before without him noticing it, he was sure of that.

Refraining from thinking on it more he just stood up and walked over to the creatures and picked them up by the ears before proceeding to the door and throwing them out. Whoever found them could deal with them. He had another phonecall to make.

"Yes, have the reports done by next week."

Satisfied he leaned back in his chair. He had managed to finish the rest of his phonecalls without any more distractions. And now he had plenty of time left to make some last preperations for the meeting with Mr Riley. That decided he walked towards one of the filling cabinets in his office. But as he opened it to grab one of the files his hand encountered something soft and furry.  
He gaped in astonishment as the two bunnies he had thrown out beforewere now happily lying in his filling cabinet.

At that point he just lost it. He grabbed the rabbits for the second time and walked to the nearest place to dump them out...the open window next to him. Without even hesitating to think about what he was doing he threw the two little cratures out the window. The onlything on his mind was getting rid of these abnormal animals, for if there was one thing he was sure about it was that these things couldn't possibly be normal. But at least now they couldn't bother him anymore.

As he moved to grab the file he was looking for he heard two dull thuds behind him. Curious he turned around, and dropped the file in shock. How..did...no...they... Underneath the open window were the rabbits, not a scratch on them. Seemingly twitching their little noses in amusement. So he did the only thing he could think of. He ran. Passing a startled secretary who only caught the mumbled 'demon rabbits' and 'therapist'. Shaking her head she went back to work. It probably was best if she didn't get involved.

Seto sat at his office desk, face buried in his hands, eyes closed firmly, and trying to relax. Breathe. In and out. Slowly. And don't look at them. Just don't look then it'll be fine.

The bunnies didn't mind his lack of attention, they were playing hide and seek in his office, trying to dig holes into his carpet or munching whatever important papers they found. It was 16.30 and he had barely any time left until the technology specialist from America would arrive. Maybe a small dose of tranquilizers would help?

Then all of a sudden he grew angry. What kind of CEO needed tranquilizers to get through a normal work day? He would just stay calm and collected and ignore those little beasts, and tomorrow they would be gone. Or maybe even today. At any rate as soon as he got home and made love to his boyfriend. The horrible image of a rabbit watching his lovemaking made him shudder and he willed it away.

There was the beeping sound again, announcing that Mr Riley had arrived. He told his secretary to get him a glass of water via intercom. When she brought it he drowned it quickly, wiping his face with his sleeve. He felt better now. Besides the bunnies had disappeared somewhere as soon as she had come in.

The door slid open and a small, stocky but agile man in a brown suit stepped into the room, nodding politely.  
"Mr Riley", Seto said, business face firmly set, all the professional he was, pointing to the seat facing him.  
"Thank you Mr Kaiba. Shall we begin?"  
"Of course, tell me about your achievements."

Mr Riley had been working with Seto for a long time and lost thefearful attitude most of the other employees had towards the CEO. He crossed his legs, relaxing a bit into the seat and took out a folder of documents.

"Basically, the software I will show you is the same as last year, but since you informed me about your progress with KC14 I modified it so it would fit better with that software. There are also some things I built differently, without considering KC14 because I thought it would provide a wider range of possibilities. I hope the sounds I have created are to your liking. I did a lot of research on that one particular part of the software, though, and it follows a completely new concept. I will start with this one…."

Seto felt himself grow calmer. Business talk was safe territory, had always been. It made him feel more confident, more in control, it was a distraction. As Mr Riley took out disks and CD-ROMs, inserting them into the drive of Seto's computer, the CEO made the mistake of looking over his shoulder just at the right moment to see a white and brown fur ball pounce onto his sofa, starting to rip open theupholstery to build a nest for future baby bunnies. Seto bit his tongue and grabbed the edge of the desk, holding onto it for dear life.

Fortunately, Mr Riley started talking again and gave him something to concentrate on. Together they listened to various sounds, discussed them, exchanged ideas. But when they were through with the first disk and Seto's colleague was changing to the second one, he saw the bunnies again and now they were…

Seto closed his eyes and swallowed hard. They were…engaging in the beautiful act of rabbit mating, fluff reproduction, bunny sex, whatever. In his office. On his carpet. Not even his boyfriend was allowed to do that.

Again Seto activated the intercom, telling his secretary to bring him another glass of water, and something for Mr Riley. The other nodded gratefully, then proceeded to tell him about the software improvements.  
Only that this time Seto couldn't help but now and then throw a glance at the rabbits. After a while they were finished and jumping around happily again. But just when Mr Riley started the third CD-Rom, a flash of black crossed the room, jumping right between the two bunnies. His eyes bulged.

They couldn't have reproduced this fast, could they? That would mean… He quickly calculated…Two new bunnies every 45 minutes! No, no, no, dear god….

"So what do you think Mr Kaiba?"  
Mr Riley's voice made him snap out of his thoughts and he quicklyreturned to the sound presentations, staring at the number of files once more. He took a deep calming breath.

"The first was very good, but I expect you to include what we discussed when we were going through it. The third and the forth might go well with the KC14, I will talk about it with my top employees in about ten minutes and inform you tomorrow morning. I suggest you sell the other two to minor gaming companies, they won't get much success with them, for just the reasons we considered before. Thank you for your presentation."

"My pleasure, Mr Kaiba. I expect your call tomorrow."

With that Mr Riley extended his hand to him, and he shook it, trying to ignore three happily bouncing bunnies on his couch.

On his way to the conference the bunnies gave up stalking him and just jumped around his feet like enthusiastic little dogs. A second time today Seto considered tranquilizers, but seeing as it was only one more hour of torture he decided against it.

Actually it was a relaxing hour for him, since his top employees had gone through Mr Riley's software by heart and found every single mistake. Seto was glad he had chosen a qualified board of top workers this time, so he leaned back, and let them talk, nodding here and there, speaking against some overly enthusiastic attempts to throw Mr Riley's suggestions out of the window.

Of course the whole time he could watch his little "friends" hopping around the room. It looked like his earlier calculation proved right, as there soon appeared a fourth one, white this time, trying to court the black one while the other couple was now obviously play fighting.

Shortly before the end of the conference a fifth jumped in right through the window, but he was too exhausted mentally to even care anymore. There were five now, so what?  
For whatever reason Seto had the firm believe that they all would vanish once he left his office. His hallucinations had always vanished at the end of a hard working day.

And so eventually the meeting ended and the workers left.

He carefully inspected the inside of the limo as he got in, looking underneath the seats and even looking in the minibar. He was aware of his driver staring at him but he didn't care. It didn't matter to him how paranoid he was acting. He wouldn't let these things, whatever they were get him. Finally satisfied that everything was safe he got in the car.

The drive seemed to be uneventful at first. Which should have been the first clue that things would go wrong soon. But with the sudden shock of the limo swerving in every which direction he didn't really have time to think on that or anything really as he just barely prevented his head from coming into very painful contact with the window next to him. It was official; this day was cursed.

Hitting the button to the intercom that connected him to the driver he yelled: "What the hell is going on here!"

"Oh God, I... I think I just hit a black cat or something"

He could feel the color drain from his face. He desperately hoped it wasn't what he thought it was. Please, anything but that. Fearfully he looked out of the window next to him. And there it was, on the side of the road was a wild looking black bunny with spiky fur, that looked like he just had an electric shock and strange glowing eyes. One yellow and one green. He shuddered. What kind of experiment gone wrong were these things?  
As the car drove on Seto didn't notice the shadow of another bunny appearing next to the first, not did he see the ones that followed.

The rest of the ride was spend with the CEO glancing out of the windows, jumping at every unusual flash of color and sudden movements.

He couldn't contain his sigh of relief when he finally arrived back at his own home.  
He felt even better when he walked into the living room and saw his lover standing a few feet away from him, welcoming him with a soft smile on his face.  
"Hey love! You look spent. Come to the kitchen, I've prepared a great meal for you!"

"Mmh, I'll love that, Yami. It smells great. What is it?"

"It's Spanish. Tortillas. Some sort of omelette. I wanted to try foreign recipes forever, exotic food tastes so good."

"Mmmh, yes it does" Seto leaned closer to him. "But you're the best exotic dish I've ever had and will ever have"

Yami laughed and wrapped his arms around Seto's neck, planting a soft kiss on his lips before he dragged him towards the kitchen.

While they were eating the delicious dish, Seto felt himself relaxing.  
He was hoping the rest of the night could be spent with his lover and maybe he could finally stop thinking about those bunnies. He had to have been imagining things, there was no way that bunnies would be stalking him.  
That was more something for one of those idiots trying to take over his company and thought that they could actually get to him that way, that he wouldn't notice them. Or those idiotic fangirls that seemed to make a living of following him around. Or even his lover when he was in one of his moods again, but there was no way that he could be followed by these rodents. Who had ever heard of a man being stalked by bunnies?

Yami smiled as he carried the dishes away, then came back to straddle his lap. "Did you like it, Seto?"

"Of course I did, it was fantastic"

"I'm glad to hear that. Do you want any dessert?"

"Certainly. I want you." And he assaulted the shorter boy passionately with his lips.

"I'm glad to be home. I had the weirdest day," he mumbled.

"Hmm...tell me later and... Seto?"

"Hnn?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

How they ever made it all the way up to their room would forever remain a mystery. But here they were, the CEO using his taller frame to trap Yami against the wall.

If someone walked by right now it would be impossible to clearly see what was going on but it would be clear that Seto was doing something to the other boy's neck that he very much enjoyed, if the gasps and moans were any indication.

Reluctatly Seto disentangled himself from his lover's body to open the door. As he moved in he moved through the doorway, intent on pulling his lover after him he opened his eyes and immedialtely wished he hadn't.

They were everywhere; on the floor, on the desk, on the bed, they were even in his sock drawer! Their entire room was filled with those damned bunnies! White ones, brown ones and he could have sworn he just saw a pink one! All staring at him and if they could they would surely be smirking at him.

He stumbled back out of the room. He couldn't believe what he wasseeing. Was there no escaping these beasts from hell. If this was someone's idea of a joke...

He was dimly aware of his lover looking past him but there was no way of missing Yami's next statement.

"So that's where those bunnies ended up."

Seto blinked. There was no way he heard that right. How in the world could Yami act this calmly, their room was invaded by bunnies!

"You...you know.. about the... bunnies," he stuttered.

"Of course I do. Mokuba was supposed to watch some bunnies for two friends of his, he told you so this morning, don't you remember? Anyway, they escaped this afternoon and we've spend hours looking for them."

"His friends gave him this many bunnies to look after!" His mind couldn't quite process this idea, it was completely ludicrous. There was no way someone would have this many bunnies.

"Of course not," came the reply. "But you know how it is with plotbunnies. It always seems like there's more and more every time you see them."

"...plotbunnies...?"  
This was just to much for the CEO and he collapsed into the arms of his lover.

Right before the darkness fully swallowed his mind he could have sworn he heard two voices laughing in the distance. One of the voices spoke up full of amusement and a hint of maliciousness. "Seems like another has fallen to the plotbunnies." And the room seemed filled with laughter once again.


End file.
